These are just a few sketchy re-actions that occured to me at various times over the past couple of days ... it is interesting the way you 'look back' in hindsight ... :)

At the time, I recorded my feeling & thoughts rather than a description of the events ... basically, you know the drill, on a suburban train Sunday morning ... most people on their own 'minding their own business ... no exchange of conversation ... as is the 'norm' ... then this old lady gets on and starts mumbling to herself, barely audible at first then more clearly and loudly about 'Don't you care about people' ... hard to describe the tone - a mixture of plaintive and accusatory ... don't remember much of the content of the next bit as I was a few seats away and she tried to 'engage' those around her who were in no mood for talking ... or may have felt (as I did) unsure of whether she was angry or 'crazy' ... a few young people behind me then yelled out that she was nuts and her elevator didn't reach the top floor ...

... basically it was a 'cry in the wilderness' about the state of the world and how people treat each other and how robotic and mechanical we are ... a LOT of which I'd have to agree with ...

Yes, looking at what i scribbled down a few hours later ... I have to say my main focus was on 'God, this is making me feel uncomfortable (amd I hope she gives up or goes away - which she did after a few stations) ... but she made some good points - we do NOT generally speak to each other as 'fellow humans' ... and our 'love' is highly selective and conditional ...

I did get out my little spiral notebk and read it ... because I was totally unsure how 'best' to respond ... and after a couple of pages, I read the section about Lama Surya Das & his advice to purposely FACE situations & people that scare us ... and practice the Tonglen meditation ...

... and overall I can TOTALLY understand how a person can become bitter & twisted and more than a little crazy as a result of spending a life in such an unfriendly society ... where genuine love of one's fellow man is still quite rare ...

yes, it's one thing (and a VERY good thing) to aim to 'cultivate boundless compassion for ALL beings' ... yet, when confronted or attacked, the natural tendency is to counter-attack ... and find some way to put them down ...

Plus how differently we might respond to any given situation when alone compared with if we had somebody with us whose respect or esteem or affection we wish to maintain ... keep up the 'image' ... hmmm ...

One thing is sure, 2 years ago I would have got out and switched carriages as soon as humanly possible and think something like, "WHY do I always seem to run into all the nut cases ..."

I also recalled the mocassins proverb ...

To respond truly lovingly to that encounter ... you'd almost have to be a saint and sadly they are in short supply just at the moment ...

... and there MAY well be nothing anyone could have said or done that would have helped her pain ... ??

{Yes, how DO you respond lovingly to all concerned - even those who dismiss or laugh at her, seing her as a 'crazy old woman' and an object of amusement ...}

I later thought of one reply ... "You're quite right. The vast majority of people on this planet do NOT know what love is ... but getting angry at them is unlikely to change that ... I understand your frustration. I'm sure most people deep down really wish they were much more loving but they just don't know how ..."

A bit later ... it occured to me that maybe hers is actually a far more honest reaction to living in a world with so little genuine human warmth ... to go a bit crazy rather than just accept that 'this is how it is' ...

A little bit later on ... (you could say I was stewing to some extent :) ... I was reminded of when Jesus said to open up your home (& heart) to the 'least of my brethren' ... yet who among us does it ... fear is ALL that prevents us from doing it ...

... fear does seem to have a VERY strong foothold just at the moment ... and at times I really do wonder HOW that can ever really change ... like the Borg and being asimilated ... if you aren't absorbed into the status quo you tend to have a very rough passage ...

One could be 'smart' (or smug?) and say that the old girl herself is hardly solving the problem and is not being unconditionally accepting of others being the way THEY are ... If you can't accept others as they are then can you be surprised if they can't return the favour ...

... the ONLY way you can influence the amount of love in the world is to become more loving yourself ...abusing people for being unloving may be a great release for built up frustration but it aint going to solve the problem ...

Yet I hesitate to say such things because I can TOTALLY identify with someone who gets so angry and forlorn and disenchanted at the state of mankind that it makes you a little crazy ...

Then a few more thoughts a couple of days later ...

... totally unrelated to the 'old lady' but along the general theme of the 'state of mankind' ...

Yes, I am at that frustrating stage where I can see with absolute crystal clarity that most avenues of conversation & socialising as currently practised in mainstream society are just dead-ends ... and that upwards of 90% of the content of people's chatter is either gossip or judgement or labeling their fellow humans (generally in dismissive or derogatory ways) ... tragedies, unfairness, OPINIONS, & how it is WAY preferable to close all those avenues to traffic ...

... and to see quite clearly how SPOT on all the Buddhist techniques are ... and the stuff in Conversations with God etc ...

Yet I must bear in mind that just 2 years ago, I myself would have been equally dismissive and judgemental ... hmmm ...

And instead of getting agitated, trying to cultivate that compassion because they literally haven't a CLUE ... and until they see it for themselves ... they will regard this wisdom as crazy talk or criticism ...

... and how people don't seem to realise that by routinely being so judgemental and labeling they generate SO much tension in those 'closest' to them ... and this is exactly what creates all the various social problems that they like to sit around complaining about ...

Yes ... it can be quite depressing to realise with crystal clarity that human beings have perpetuated such nonsense for centuries and that to this day most lack even the most basic insights and thus cause themselves untold grief ...

and that in the meantime 90% of most conversations (which very much tend to echo the contents and focus of a person's conscious thoughts) are actively detrimental to maintaining peace-of-mind ...

{more scribbles to be typed up soon ...}

Yet ... am I being judgemental about those who are being judgemental ...

... forgive them for they really know not what they do ...

... and how do you even begin to share your own insights, when you can recall so vividly that nobody's words would have ever 'persuaded' me ...

"Being judgemental is easy. Human beings have been doing it for thousands of years. To consciously choose compassion rather that judgement is a BIG step. Sadly, it's a step most people are yet to make ... and as a direct result, the world is in its current state of tension and unrest."

"If compassion is selective, it's not really compassion. The same applies to love."

It can be quite distressing to watch so many people routinely sabotaging their own peace-of-mind ...

Yes, in the rather LONG conversation I was basing all this on ... for some reason, the words 'God' and 'love' were conspicously absent ...

"I do know one thing. If you habitually look for ways of attaching unkind or derogatory laebels onto your fellow human beings ... ultimately you are only harming yourself. I pray for the day when people truly realise this." {It really is infinitely preferable to say nothing than to express an unkind thought}

And as I said a few weeks back ... while such exchanges are taking place, there seems to be precious little of 'being thrilled by the miracle' ... it can be ahrd to watch ... and realise your words would be seen as nonsense or worse ... :)

"I tend to act vaguely normal around all the normal folk because they are so easily frightened ..."

[A bit of a poem started brewing ... Question arise in the human mind, Answers can be so hard to find, Sit down, relax, take a deep breath, Let me take you to a place between life and death. In dreams we visit another realm, We release our tight grip on the helm ... needs a bit of work ...]

Plus that observation from one of Jack Kornfield's talks - you can't 'let go' for them ...

Yet, at odd times, I think what am I worried about ... if it is all choice (and it sure doesn't look that way much of the time) then they have elected to expereince that particular aspect of the human condition for whatever reason ... and let's remember that even an entire lifetime on this planet is like a blink of an eye relative to other dimensions where time & space have no real meaning ...